Fanfare for the Common Man: The toes’ turn UPDATED

Thursday, August 22, 2013 1:17 p.m.

 Recently I paid homage to the most misunderstood digit of them all in Tall Man.So, in order to be fair, I need to head down under. I’ll be the first to admit it: Toes get a bad rap.They’re kept in the dark most of the time in tight, cramped confines. And if I’m being honest the reason I don’t like feet is because of ugly …

Fanfare for the Common Man: My imaginary girlfriend

Wednesday, August 14, 2013 8:06 p.m.

 Every so often it happens.You get friend requests on Facebook from these young women stuck in seductive poses. They invite you to come check out their pages full of hot and exciting photographs. These are young ladies with names like Amber, Misty, and Co-co and you hit the DELETE button quickly because guys my age can go to jail for stuff like …

Fanfare for the Common Man: Woe is Tall Man UPDATED

Thursday, August 8, 2013 12:36 a.m.

I feel sorry for Tall Man.Tall Man is the first nickname you ever used for your middle finger … the vertically blessed digit that stands nail and knuckles above all others. When the song announces his arrival in the final verse with the query “Where is Tall Man? Where is Tall Man?” 32 five-year olds shout out “HERE I AM! …

Fanfare for the Common Man: Welcome back Twinkies UPDATED

Wednesday, July 31, 2013 1:27 p.m.

 The Twinkie is back.This is how you start a good week, with the Twinkie snack cake returning on July 15 to your local grocery store.This has been the longest eight months of my life having to live without Twinkies and HoHo’s and the famous Hostess cupcake.Little Debbie cakes are okay but they’re not Hostess.I remember the days when …

Missing the ’60s? Nope UPDATED

Wednesday, July 24, 2013 6:22 p.m.

 I feel a rant coming on.It’s been a while since I’ve gone off on one of these. Usually my rants are caused by the realization that chips aren’t sold in six ounce bags anymore, or trying to figure out why I can get a two-liter bottle of Coke for just 99 cents but I have to pay $1.99 for a 12-ounce.This rant was caused by a fetish …

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