Photo Provided

Shama Ford and her late daughter, Kelly, are pictured in happier times with the Fords’ oldest child, Shamar.

Photo Provided

Reginald Ford holds his daughter, Kelly.

Since that time, the Fords have made it their mission to work to make sure what happened to them does not happen to anyone else.

The Fords were getting ready to celebrate their anniversary. Shama Ford had dropped their two children, Shamar, 6, and Kelly, 9 months, with her brother and sister-in-law in Sumter. She and Reginald were on the road ready to celebrate the happy occasion when the cell phone rang and someone spoke the words every parent dreads most: There’s been an accident.

At first the Fords only knew that there had been an accident and nine-month-old Kelly was being airlifted to Palmetto Richland Memorial Hospital in Columbia.

They would not find out until they reached the hospital just how dire – and how senseless -- the situation was. The Fords prided themselves on being careful, protective, safety conscious parents. But Shama Ford’s sister-in-law had taken her children and the Ford’s children in a car for an outing. Not only had she allowed the children to ride without wearing seatbelts or put Kelly Ford in her baby car seat, she allowed an unlicensed 14-year-old girl to drive. The girl lost control of the vehicle and hit a tree; Kelly Ford suffered major head trauma and was now on life support.

“I think I sort of blacked out when my mother-in-law told me what happened; I couldn’t believe she had done something so careless,” Shama Ford said.  “When you leave your child in the care of a responsible family, then just a couple of hours later get that call, basically have your life torn apart ...”

Kelly lay unconscious in the bed, wires and tubes seemingly running out of every part of her body, Shama said.

“I stayed and held her hand, test after test after test,” Shama said. “She wasn’t doing anything on her own, her body shutting down.”

When the medical team completed the final test, Shama Ford washed her unconscious daughter’s hair, and placed bows in her locks, all the while talking to her telling her how much she was loved.

Shama ’s soft brown eyes fill, her voice drops to a whisper.

“How do you say goodbye to a child,” she says, the words hanging in the air, barely audible but oh so powerful.

Resigned to the fact there was no hope for Kelly, the Fords made a generous and heartbreaking decision to help others by donating Kelly’s organs.

 “Some days I wake up and think maybe I’ve just been dreaming. Then I look in the nursery and she’s not there. I keep asking why, and I know God always has a reason for everything, but when you’re in the middle of something like this, you just don’t see the reason. It just feels so unfair.”

The worst part has been the effect on her son, Kelly’s older brother, Shamar, who absolutely doted on his baby sister. He is taking her loss hard, she said.

“From the beginning he loved her – he would speak to her while she was still in my belly,” Shama said.

After Kelly passed away, Shama Ford went into a fog; she does not remember much about the next 10 days.

“Then I just wanted to do something, to make people aware, to spare someone else from what we’re going through,” Shama said. “Maybe if my sister-in-law knew how important the car seat was, maybe if I had shown her how to put it in the car correctly, maybe this wouldn’t have happened.”

The result of this epiphany is a new non-profit organization, “Car Seats for Kelly,” an organization dedicated to educating parents about the importance of using car safety devices at all time and raising the funds to purchase car safety devices for people who cannot afford them, Shama said.

“In my research, I found out that 90 percent of accidents happen within a one-mile radius of home,” she said. “I also found out that nine out of 10 child passenger safety equipment are installed incorrectly.”

What really struck home with her are the penalties for driving with a child not in a child safety device: That fine is $150 whereas the fine for littering is $500.

She said she plans to try to establish a child occupant public education program as well as lobby congressional representatives about increasing the fine for violation of the child occupant protection law to more effectively deter non-compliance.

She also wants to go to schools, civic groups, churches, any organization willing to listen throughout the state of South Carolina to discuss the importance of buckling up, she said.

“I want to go to every K-3rd grade class in South Carolina,” she said. “If we can generate some kind of excitement about it in the students, the parents will take note and reinforce it.”

In order to make her idea a reality, the foundation is trying to raise funds so that it can apply for federal 501(c) 3 status. Car Seats For Kelly is recognized as a non-profit organization at the state level, but with the federal designation, it can apply for federal grants, Shama said.

Ultimately, Shama Ford said she does not want another family to have to go through what she and her family are going through, she said.

“This is now my work, a lot of my heart is in it,” she said. “I know I can make a big difference. I feel like it would be selfish of me to keep this knowledge to myself, knowing what I know. We’ve been to hell and back, but a lot of good will come out of it.

“I’m just taking it day by day, moment by moment. The foundation gives me peace.”

Want to donate? The Car Seats For Kelly Foundation has an account set up with Wachovia Bank. For more information call (843) 437-2836, email carseatsforkelly@aol.com, or visit www.carseatsforkelly.org

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