I am a Caped Crusader

  • Wednesday, October 17, 2012

I love capes. I just wish it were fashionably acceptable to wear one. Were it not for fear of public ridicule, I would wear a cape daily.
Capes rock.
Without a cape Batman is just some clown with anger management issues running around in the dark. Throw in the cape and he’s not just half the Dynamic Duo, he’s “THE BATMAN!”
The same can be said of Thor.
Without the red cape he’s a Patrick Swayze “Point Break” wannabee who was Captain Kirk’s dad in the new Star Trek. Add the red drapes and he’s Thor, the God of Thunder.
I long ago learned to appreciate the value of wearing a cape. A cape adds that intangible Superman quality to any outfit.
Take the James Island football game at Berkeley a few Friday nights ago. I’m watching the game unfold and along the far sideline I see four guys dressed up like Trojans. That includes the leather skirt, the breastplate, the scrub brush helmet…
And a cape.
Now, up until the last part you had three dweebs trying to get their Troy freak on, each hoping to pull off Brad Pitt as Achilles. It wasn’t working. But add in the cape and these guys are suddenly somebodies. The cape added a little swagger to their step.
In fact, one of the four dweebs actually looked good, and he knew it, too.All because of the cape.
So these four guys parade around the track to the Berkeley side of the field and one of them’s actually nodding with this smug grin that said, “Oh yeah… I’m wearing a cape and I make this look good.”
I was in third grade the first time I safety pinned a bath towel around my neck.
I remember standing there and regarding my reflection in the sliding patio door window. Hands on hips, chest stuck out, I thought, oh yeah, this thing is going to make me fly.
Thank God my fear of heights prevented me from ever testing this theory. If it hadn’t been for my fear of heights I’d have climbed to the corner of the roof, uttered confidently, “This is a job for Superman!” and pitched myself off the edge of the roof.
It would have been one of those stories you read about in the newspapers: Third grader tries to fly.
My head is constantly lost in the clouds. One of my favorite means of killing time is to haunt You Tube for all the Superman highlights I can find. And it’s all because of a silly red cape.
Were it not for the red cape, Superman wouldn’t have been super, man.
It’s the red cape that makes me cry. When I see the trailers for the new Man of Steel movie due out next summer, all I have to do is play the first 10 seconds of the cut and I’m already sobbing up. It’s because I know what’s coming.
At the end. I’ll get to see the red cape. And Superman will fly.
No, I don’t need intense psycho-therapy at all. Whatever gave you that idea? Leaping tall buildings in a single bound ...
Not without the cape.

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