Wednesday, October 3, 2012
The newly married young man was complaining to his coworkers about how women were illogical, and said he couldn’t understand why his wife did the things she did.
The older man listened to him rant and rave. After patiently listening for a while the older man asked the young man to tell him something his wife does on a regular basis that makes no sense to him.
The young man was quick on the draw. He confessed that he did not like the idea neither did it make sense for his wife to call him three or four times a day while he was at work just to see how he was doing. According to him, usually she has nothing to say, except the usual, “I am just calling to see how you are doing.”
The older man who had been married for quite a few years smiled sympathetically at the younger newly married man and with a chuckle in his voice he said, “It might not be that what your wife does makes no sense. It might make perfect sense. The problem may be that you don’t understand women or more particularly you don’t understand your wife.”
The older man explained. It might be, he said, that when she calls you are expecting content. You think there should be an exchange of information and that is what counts for you. But have you stopped to think that content or information might not be what matters to your wife?
She might call you not because content is important or because she has content to share, but it might be more symbolic. She is saying by her calls two or three times a day, “I love you, I care about you, I miss you, you are important to me.”
The call is actually more important than what is said. So what makes no sense to you is an expression of caring to her.
The young man thought about what was said and actually admitted that it made sense.
That conversation and a few others led the older man to recall a story about a man and his wife who got into a fight.
They had a series of heated exchanges. It was so bad that they crossed boundaries they should not have.
Finally the husband blurted out, “I don’t know how God could have made somebody so beautiful and at the same time so stupid.”
In the nicest, sweetest voice filled with sarcasm, she said, “I can tell you why. God made us so beautiful so you men can fall in love with us. And He made us so stupid so we can fall in love with you.”
Women are who they are, not who we think they should be. Women must be seen for who they are not men trying to understand them by judging them according to the way men function.
The Rev. Valentine Williams is the Pastor of Transforming Life Center Church in Pineville, a motivational speaker, seminar/workshop leader, personal development coach, adjunct instructor and the author of Youth Empowered to Succeed. He is also the president of Williams Speaking and Training Services, a people development organization that conducts professional and personal development training and staff development workshops. For questions, comments or speaking engagements contact him at firstname.lastname@example.org.